Ask the Akatsuki!
by Kumori Uchiha
Summary: Ask the Akatsuki any question you want! Rated M because I just know some people are gonna ask some weird questions... Please use the review feature to "send a letter" asking the Akatsuki!
1. Chapter 1

**Oh gosh ask the Akatsuki!**Hi everyone! My name is Kumori Uchiha! *Sitting on a sofa with the Akatsuki around her* I'm here so you can ask these guys, (and me, hopefully~ *Puppy dog eyes* Pwease?) some questions! I'll try to get everyone to reply to every note that's sent in! Don't be afraid to ask ANY question you want! *Tobi holds up a peace sign* Chya! *Hugs Tobi* So cute┘anyway! Like I said! We'll reply to ALL of the questions, so let your imagination run wild, and ask whatever you want! Here are the people you can ask.

* * *

Itachi: "Oi."

Kisame: "*Grins with shark teeth*"

Pein: "..."

Tobi: "Tobi is a very good boy!"

Sasori: "Heh..."

Deidara: "Ask me about art...and stuff, un."

Konan: "I love origami! I could send you origami responses! *Drones on about origami*"

Hidan: "I'll answer every last ****ing question I get! Praise Jashin-sama or die a horrible painful death!"

Kakuzu: "... *Hoards money*"

Orokibu: "Uhh...umm..."

Me: "I'll answer anything!"

Yagume: "*Clings to Deidara* Onii-san! *Sticks tongue out* Nyyeeeh~"

So please comment! Oiyaaa! Bye byeee~


	2. Our first letter! Deidara

Oh boy! Our first letter! *Tobi rips it open* Okay…here it is!

From Sakura Jashin.

_Sakura Jashin here!_

_Deidara, do you love art like you love Sasori?_

_Sorry, but that's all I could think of. *Sad face*_

…oh…crap.

Deidara: "Love…Sasori?! *Goes on a cussing spree* I don't love ***ing Sasori! *Blushing*"

Uhh…um…great question! He loves art…but the common misconception that he is gay makes him utterly bonkers… *Whispers* Yes, Sakura Jashin, he does love art like he loves Sasori. *Sits back* Alright then! *Orokibu scoots behind Pein*  
"Pain~ Without loove~ Pain~ I can't get enough~ Pein, I like it rough~"  
Pein: "*Blushes and shoves Orokibu into the wall*" Uhh…yeah! That's all for now! Thank you for sending in, Sakura! *Tobi waves bye* Please remember to write more letters!


	3. Wow! Came back from our mission

*Sits on the sofa with a bag of letters* Ugh…okay, sorry you guys. We haven't been able to respond quickly enough because Pein sent us all out on missions…you know, assassinations and things as such. Alright, first order of business! This one is from Lady Kurai!

_**Sakura jashin:I'm Back**_

Pein Don't you dare cell me SAKURA if you are to called me by my name it's Sakura Jashin or Kurai is fine ! Okay ?

Deidara You do haha girl-man

So Tobi do you take your mask off sometime ?

That all sorry *poof away*

Pein: But…that was the black haired chick…not me…

Kumori: Uh…yeah…sorry! *Sweatdrop*

Deidara: …I will…blow…you…UP! *Starts making bombs and memorizing the address on the envelope*

Tobi: *Shakes head* I don't want to…

Kisame: NEXT LETTER~! It's from Mistress Akasha!

_**okay this is for all of the members: if you had to b in a threesome with one other member and a hott chick who would it be? sorry i hav always wondered pus kaka-kun is a bad influence on my innocence  
kakashi: hahaha wat innoncence?? she strip searched me the first date!  
me: so u hide my keys and refued to give them bak!  
kakashi: that did not call for almost giving me a handjob in the middle of the street!  
me: please i know u liked it cuz u wouldnt leave until i gave u one  
kakashi: shut up! *blushes*  
me: *whispers to kumori-chan* he stood in my kitchen for three days i did it jus to get him out cuz he scared the shit out o me when i walked in the next morning in a towel**_

Everyone (Deidara): … (Sasori, un…) *Stares at Deidara* ..! (…! What?!)

Kumori: *Stares at the letter* …um…um… *Gulp* Itachi and Sasori?

Itachi: …ON TO THE NEXT LETTER. This one is from Pots And Pans

_**I has a letter * throws to Hidan's face***_

Have you notice that not only did you insult other people around you, you also insult you own freakin' god, Jashin-whoever?

Hidan: …I WOULD NEVER INSULT JASHIN-SAMA! YOU F***ING LITTLE B***!! I SHOULD JUST SLIT YOUR F***ING THROAT AND BURY YOU IN A F***ING ANTHILL YOU LITTLE D*** SUCKER!

Kami: … (O.O) … *Drags Hidan into her room*

Kumori: Ah…haha…well then…next…letter…from XxHell's HoundxX.

_**This is for all the boys there! Boxers or briefs?**_

Konan: Does anyone there sleep commando? (Do not lie we all know at least one silver haired priest with violet eyes does)

Everyone except for Tobi: Boxers.

Tobi: Speedos! *Everyone stares at him, and then inches away*

Konan: Well, Pein-sama doesn't like to wear undies when he sleeps, and yes, as far as I know Hidan does go commando. And then…we have Deidara…who pretty much wears a tho—

Deidara: *Blushing* SHUT UP!

Kumori: Ahehehe! Okay! That's all for now…um…thanks for writing in and see you next time!


	4. The Akatsuki's showin' our true colors!

Kumori: Alright! We're back! Sorry about the wait: Tobi wouldn't leave my room so I could get the letters sorted… *Tobi giggles*…okay. First letter is from Pots And Pans! *Mutters* I wanna know who the hell this guy is and which village he's from…

_**. Hidan you stupid bastard**_

I have one... well, for everyone.

Peace or Power?

Tobi: PEACE!

Hidan: F*** you!

Pein: Power…hehe…

Everyone else: Power…?

Zetsu: Hmm…next one is from **Mistress Akasha…**

_**thanx for making my lette so funny! i liked it!! oh and an innocent question!**_

what are your favorite foods and what are you allegeric to? also hidan if you say blood i will kix your ass! understand?

_**  
**_Tobi: Tobi's allergic to cusswords! *Biggrin* And Tobi likes salad! Tobi's a good boy!

Orokibu: *In a corner singing "What would you do for a Klondike bar~?" *Responds to self*" I WOULD KILL PEOPLE! BWHAHAHAHA!!!"

Everyone: … (O.o)

Hidan: I eat my victim's hearts.

Kakuzu: That's me, dumba**. Okay, next letter. From…uh..Ragnelondite…

_**Deidara: why do you look like Ino's reflection? Sasori: Do you hug your parent puppets every night? Zetsu: what do people taste like? Pain: If I ripped out the metal on your back would the pains die? Itachi: You are awesome! Kisame: Is the blue skin natural or a jutsu side efect? Tobi: Why do you act silly? Hidan: Why are you a Heathan and a bastard? Kakuzu: Why do you love money? Konan: Origami... in the rain village... are you daft?! all the OC's: Who the hell are y'all!?!?**_

Deidara: ARE YOU CALLING ME A GIRL, UN!?

Sasori: …I told you people to stop spying on me. Now you die. *Gets wood*

Zetsu: They taste like yumminess! (:D)

Pein: If you ripped out the metal in my back I'd rip out your spine, got it?

Itachi: …thanks?

Kisame: It's NATURAL!

Tobi: Because Tobi's a good boy and Hidan made Tobi's coffee this morning! *Bouncing up and down*

Hidan: *Cough* I'm not a Heathen…you are. But I am a bastard because Jashin tells me to be.

Kakuzu: Can't you see that money makes the world go round?

Konan: …but…but… *Holds up a butterfly* Neh.

Orokibu: We're ninja. (o.o)

Kumori: Uh…yeah…okay…

Yagume: *Clings to Deidara* Hey Nii-san! I have good news! Should I tell everyone?

Deidara: *Still fuming* Only if they deserve it!

Kumori: Uh…see you next time! *Waves*


End file.
